The One Where Sulu Files a Complaint
by tinuelena
Summary: Sulu notices that Kirk touches Spock. A lot. So, on behalf of the Commander, he files a sexual harassment complaint. The problem? Kirk has no idea what he's been doing, and Spock never complained because he likes it. One-shot prompt fill.


A/N: Random prompt fill.

xx

Hikaru Sulu was growing irritated.

Three months ago, he'd begun dating a sweet Vulcan engineer called T'Prel. She was fresh out of Starfleet Academy, and a bit overwhelmed by life on the _Enterprise. _After accepting her attraction to Sulu, she'd sought the advice of Spock, who counseled her with the same words his alternate self had once said to him—_put aside logic and do what feels right._ That night, thanks to the elder Vulcan's sage advice, T'Prel and Sulu went on their first date—a fencing match.

They'd grown closer and closer until, one night, T'Prel shyly admitted she'd like to kiss him. So Sulu leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. She raised an eyebrow, confused, then smiled and pressed her fingers against his. _This is how Vulcans kiss, _she explained, and Sulu found it was just as intimate, especially after T'Prel told him how sensitive her fingers were.

So, as he watched his captain thoughtlessly brush Spock's fingers as they bent over a PADD together, he twitched. It wasn't the first time. It seemed Kirk was always making contact with the Vulcan's hands. Sulu, aware of what the touch meant, bristled at the thought of his friend and first officer being constantly violated. They weren't in a relationship after all and, even if they were, he knew Vulcans would find such public displays of affection unacceptable.

Kirk threw an arm around Spock and squeezed his hand. "You're a genius," he said with an easy smile. "I couldn't run this ship without you."

Spock stiffened slightly at the touch, then relaxed as Kirk let go and returned to his captain's chair.

_That's it, _Sulu thought huffily. _Someone's got to stop this._

xx

Later that night, he found himself sitting in Counselor Davis' office, sipping tea.

"I can see you're very uncomfortable," began the counselor, setting his own teacup down. "What's troubling you?"

"I'm here to file a sexual harassment complaint," Sulu said flatly.

Davis grabbed his PADD. "Who's been bothering you?"

"Not me," Sulu told him. "I'm filing this complaint on behalf of Commander Spock."

Davis arched an eyebrow. "Did he ask you to?"

"No. It's just that—" He sighed. "The offender in question is both his superior officer and his friend, and I think he might fear retribution if he filed a report."

"Captain Kirk is the offender?"

Sulu nodded.

"I see. So you have witnessed these… advances?"

"Yes."

"What's been happening?"

"The Captain is constantly touching Mr. Spock's hands. _Constantly._"

He made a note. "Do you fear retribution from the captain, Mr. Sulu?"

"No. Even if he does try to take it out on me, I don't care."

"All right. Starfleet regulation states that the chief medical officer and the first officer be present for any harassment complaint filed against the captain of a ship. However, since the first officer is the victim in this case, I would like you to fill in. Is that all right with you?"

Sulu nodded.

"I will see you back here tomorrow at 1600 hours," said Commander Davis.

xx

The next night, Sulu found himself seated at a small round table with Counselor Davis, Bones, Kirk, and Spock.

Kirk was the first to break the silence. "Can you tell me what we're here about, Counselor?"

"An anonymous crewmember has filed a sexual harassment complaint on behalf of Commander Spock," Davis said, cutting to the chase. "The complaint states that you, Captain, have been making unwanted sexual advances toward your first officer."

Bones laughed.

"This is not a joking matter, Doctor," said Davis, his voice hard.

"Sorry," he said, "but Jim making advances toward that pointy-eared bastard? That wouldn't even make believable fiction."

Spock glared at Bones.

"Now, hang on," Kirk said. "When have I ever made any sort of unwelcome sexual advance?"

The room fell silent. Davis gave Spock a chance to answer.

Spock answered carefully. "I am not aware of any unwelcome sexual advance from you, Captain."

"Oh, come _on_!" Sulu burst out. "He's touching your hands _all the time_!"

Kirk rounded on Sulu. "So what? I'm not _fondling _him. I always shake hands, pat people on the back… I'm a very tactile person. It's never bothered _you_!"

"_I'm_ not Vulcan!" Sulu shot back.

"What does that have to do with anything?" yelled Kirk.

"For Vulcans," interjected Counselor Davis, "the fingers are a major erogenous zone."

Kirk was dumbfounded. "What?"

"Vulcans kiss with their fingers," Sulu amended. "Every time you touch Spock like that, it's like you're kissing him."

Kirk turned back to Spock, who had turned a light shade of green. "Is that true?"

"Yes."

"Well why didn't you ever say anything? I had no idea. I feel like a jackass now."

"As I said, Captain, you have never made any unwelcome sexual advance."

Kirk stared at him for a moment.

It dawned on Bones first. "Oh, Jesus Christ, you've got to be kidding me."

"I did not file a report because the captain's contact was not unwanted," Spock told Davis. "However, in hindsight, I realize that I should have informed the captain that I welcomed the contact. I was acting under the assumption that he was aware these touches were intimate in nature and that he was—to use a Terran term—flirting."

Bones choked down a laugh.

"Well, now I'm aware." Kirk looked down at Spock's hands. They rested on the table. Shamelessly, he reached over and stroked a finger. "And _now _I'm consciously flirting."

Davis glanced at Kirk. "Captain, this is highly inappropriate behavior for—"

"I believe, Counselor, that I outrank you?" Spock raised a sharp eyebrow.

"Yes, sir."

"In which case, I will decide what is or is not appropriate behavior."

"Yes, sir."

"Thank you. You are all dismissed."

"Sir?" Davis said. "This is my office."

"So it is," Spock replied. "And you are all dismissed."

Bones clapped a hand on the befuddled counselor's shoulder. "He's a stubborn one," he said, rising to his feet. "Now, come on. We have our orders, and I think we could all use a stiff drink."

As the door closed, Kirk turned to Spock. "So… I've been kissing you for months now."

"Indeed."

"I bet I've been doing a shitty job. Teach me how to do it right."

Spock took Kirk's wrist. "It is my hope," he whispered, "that I will have the opportunity to teach you many things about Vulcan intimacy."

"I like this side of you," Kirk told him, as the pads of Spock's fingertips met his. "I never took you for the forward type."

"Wait until I enter _pon farr,_" Spock said simply, a smirk on his face.


End file.
